The one where the grown ups to go counseling

Today was the day of our 1st counseling appointment. It went alright. We talked with very nice lady, for about 50 minutes, and after we were done she says "Well, I just don't think I will be able to help you." HUH? Say what?! She goes on to tell us that she is a "Family" counselor, not a "child" one. And after talking with Trav & I about the situation, our family life, our marriage, our kids. She determined that its not our parenting skills that need help. Its Alex. Which was kind of a bittersweet pill to take. Part of me just wanted her to say, jeeze parents, if you were to just do this (insert solution here) with her, she will be the perfect child. Duh. Because I can handle changing things about me, and the way I react to Alex. But the other part of me was kind of proud. You know, the whole, I'm not actually doing anything wrong, part. So, step 2. Find a Child behavioral specialist. One who can work with us in determining why Alex is so impulsive. And loud. And stubborn. Then for that person to help us, to help her. Which is the whole reason we are doing this in the 1st place. Anyways... Just thought I would give you all an update!

All is good. For now anyways.

Our meeting with the Principal & teacher went really well today. What a huge relief! We went through everything Alex does at school that doesn't, lets say, show off her better side. She doesn't sit at story time, she will lay down, pull up her shirt, show off her undies, kick the wall, or if she is sitting, she wont sit criss cross applesauce. AND when the teacher gets up from her seat to do something, guess who scrambles up to spin in the chair? Yup. My daughter. She ALWAYS wants to be line leader. And usually yells at who ever gets there first. Then she will yell at the teacher. Then she gets sent to the office. She is an over zealous cleaner. Cleaning things that aren't hers to clean. She has NO friends. (this made me start to cry, I am still devastated that she doesn't have a little buddy) The little girls in her class are all very clicky. And they have decided to leave Alex out and they tattle on her endlessly. Which, pisses her off. I, can see both sides. 1. No one likes to be friends with someone who yells all the time. BUT, 2. No ones likes to be told on, and be left out. I would probably want to yell at them too. But being a grown up & all its frowned upon.

They did give me some great attributes about her though. She is incredibly smart. Very loving. A girl with a broad imagination, who has the ability to stay on task. They are very impressed with her connection skills. Not many 4 year olds can put together a 100 piece puzzle with out any help. In a short amount of time too. She's got exceptional reading skills for a 4 year old. She just needs to learn how to control her emotions.

Now, here's a little secret. We're taking her to counseling. I don't know HOW it will help. But I am positive it will. Its very humbling as a parent to say: "Hey, I need some help here. Things are not going right. What can you suggest?" But its come to a point where Trav & I just aren't cutting it. And I'm ok with that. What ever I can do to make my daughter a success. I'm there. So, like I said, All is good.

I feel sick

I am so nervous. Tomorrow Trav & I have a meeting with Alex's principal & teacher to discuss her behavior. I feel in my gut they are going to tell me that she can no longer go to school there. And THAT just breaks my heart. Now, I don't KNOW that is going to happen, but us Moms, we're pretty darned intuitive. And I feel sick. My Alex, she is a very sweet girl. Full of life & pizazz! But she just doesn't know how to corral it. She is impulsive, and stubborn, and kind of hard to work with. But she is so very smart. I almost feel like yelling at the teacher for not understanding HOW to deal with her! I can, Travis can, Diane out daycare provider can. I want to yell, DON'T GIVE UP ON HER! She's only 4! Its our job, to teach her, to guide her, to SHOW her! To be role models for her. But most of all to love her for who she is. I know, boy do I know, she is a difficult child right now, but if we don't take control of the situation at this moment, she will become a difficult PERSON, whom no one likes. And that is just not ok. So, for right now, I feel sick. And I am praying for my sweet girl. And for me, so that I can be the Mom she needs me to be. I am her advocate. Her biggest fan. Lord give me peace. And knowledge. And hope. Because Hope, it helps.

Where does she get this stuff?

I think that Alex is going to be a stand up comedian. No really! She is so funny! Actually, its more that she gets confused and she just says what she thinks. Like...

When I was picking her up from Daycare the other day, she was laying in the chair, and she pointed to her eye and said "Momma, do I got purple eye? Cuz my eye weally huwts." All I could do was chuckle and ask if she meant PINK eye. And NO she didn't have pink eye. Thank goodness for that.

We were driving into town this morning and out of the blue she asks... "Momma? Does this road have a black eye on it?" Huh? OH BLACK ICE!! Me, "No, the road is clear today hon." Alex, "Oh, what IS black eye?" So, I got to explain that to her.

Maddy... That girl says some pretty funny things too. Like asking me for a cell phone. Hilarious. "But momma, it only costs like $7 dollars." Right.

Honestly though, my girls are a hoot. And I am thankful everyday for the time I have with them.

A few funnies..

My Alex, she is one FUNNY girl. The things that come out of her mouth. Priceless. For example.

When we were dropping her off at school this morning her teacher Mrs. B asked Alex if she had a good weekend. Alex, our LOUD Alex, YELLS. "I DIDN'T PEE!!". Mrs. B had no clue what to say to that so I had to explain she hasn't wet the bed for 6 days and is very very excited about it. Mrs B proceeds to ask me if Alex possibly has a hearing problem. I said no, she has a yelling one.

Yesterday when we were driving up to the hospital to see my Mom, we over heard Alex telling Maddy, "Hey Maddy, see those big poles with the lines on them? If you sit on it it will SHOCK your butt." Too true kid.

When we were at the hospital yesterday I was taking the big girls to the bathroom then to find Trav & Peyton. We were walking through a wing and a VERY old lady was in a bed being wheeled by. Alex says to me "Momma, why is she here?" I reply with "she probably here because she is sick and needs to get better." Alex says "Oh, is she gonna have a baby?" Me, "Nope, I really don't think so kid." Alex, "Hmm, do you think she is here to get dead?" Seriously? Is just about all I could think, LUCKILY the lady had been going one way and we had been going another so I am certain she didn't hear it. THANK goodness. I told Alex that wasn't appropriate. And I think she understood. I hope.

We were on our way home. Trav & I were talking and Alex yells, "HEY MOMMMA!" I said "hold on Alex, Daddy & I are talking I will get to you in a minute." Alex says, "I can't Mommy, its gonna PASS!" Which I thought was pretty smart!

Anyways.. Its nice to have a daughter who can make you laugh when you really don't want to. My girls are the best.

A quick update...

Hey all... My Mom is doing pretty well all things considered. She suffered a stroke on Friday. Luckily for her it was a "small" one and in "the best place to have a stroke if you're going to have one" What ever the crap that means. The are doing LOTS of tests, trying to figure out where the heck the darn blood clot came from that ended up in the cerebellum(?)part of her brain.(seriously not sure that is right at all...I am pretty much exhausted right now so my own brain is pretty muddled) She has lost some sensation on her left side. Which stinks for her since she is a lefty. She will be using a walker to get around while doing all sorts of therapy. Occupational, physical, & speech. Hopefully she will be released tomorrow to go home. That's all I have the energy for right now. It was an interesting, & mostly crappy weekend and I get to go to work tomorrow, so I am off to bed now. Thanks so so so much to all who prayed for her. There is a reason I call you friends! Love ya, Stace

Please Pray

Will everyone one who reads this say a prayer for my Mom? The doctors say she had a stroke yesterday. I am heading up to Newberg now... Thanks... Blessings Stacey

The one where the kids FINALLY go back to school

Phew! Its over. The longest Christmas break in the history of McMinnville schools is officially over. THANK GOODNESS. My big kids have been drivin me a little bit mad this last week. Yesterday I just about cracked. They were running in my living room, Alex was giving us her crazy clown laugh, and Maddy her hyena cackle, and I just about blew my top! I said, "GIRLS, get your shoes and coats on NOW! And go outside and run laps around the back yard! GO!" This all occurred while Trav was at the store. He came home to find the big girls in the back yard, and me holding my ears rocking back & forth on the couch. Joking! (about the rocking part anyways) He says to me "Stace, why on earth are the girls running around outside? Its like, freezing cold out there!" Of course I answered with the truth. They were driving me crazy and I needed them to burn off some of that energy. He laughed and told the girls to come inside. I almost cried. Instead I just broke out the bottle of coconut rum. Much better. You know the saying "you've got your beer goggles on?" Well, I put my rum goggles on. Don't judge. Please? I actually hardly EVER drink. Honest! But sometimes a girl just needs a little somethin somethin to get her chill on. I am better today. Much. Mostly because I know my kids are back to school tomorrow and all is going to be good again.

Ta Da!

As promised... here are the pictures of the quilt I made for my Madre. It was a fun, long, sometimes hard process. But I did it! I completed the entire thing with only a little teensy tiny bit of help from the Mother in law. For me, it was a big accomplishment!

Happy 2009! And a prayer request too.

2009, its nice to meet you. I am hoping that you will bring us a year of health, happiness, contentedness, financial peace, love, and of course FUN! 2008, you were an ok year. I wish I could tell you differently, but I just can't. You were a year of financial struggles mostly due to paying childcare for our 3 darling girls, and an economy that removed about half of our 401k savings. 2009, give it back please!

My "resolutions" for the year include:
Working out a tad more regularly. No more once every other month for me! No sir. My goal is to work out 2-3 times a week. I need to get skinny again.
Flossing everyday. (same as my friend Kristen as noted on her Baby Steps blog. Apparently, we share the same level of flossing enjoyment.)
I am going to drink more water.
I am going to thoroughly enjoy every moment with my kids. Even those moments where I really feel like knocking the big girls' heads together because they won't stop screaming at each other. No, really.
I am going to pay more attention to my bank account, and TRY to save money. Isn't that a grand idea? Sorry Mr. Debit card. If I succeed you might just not get used as much.

I asked Maddy and Alex what there resolutions were going to be, and Maddy was like, what the heck are resovations? So, I tried to explain it to her and she came up with the following..
1. She is going to try to stop sucking her thumb. (yes, my almost 7 year old still sucks her thumb. All the time. Its a really good resolution)
2. She is going to try to stop being mean to Alex. (another good one, but in my opinion, they should already be nice to each other. Riiiigh)

Alex's.... (she only had one)
1. She is going to try to stop wetting the bed. (hopefully she follows through)

Hopefully 2009 will prove to be a grand year. For everyone.

One thing before I go.. I have a dear friend of mine who I know reads this. Her 9 year old niece is currently at Emanuel hospital undergoing major tests to find out what is making her so sick. The are testing for the horrible "C" word tomorrow. Will you all join me in praying for this sweet strong girl? And for her family? My dear friend has already lost a teen aged sister to cancer years ago, and its just not fair for them to have to go through this stress and fear again. (Really, its not fair period, but it this just seems extra cruel) I would love to give you her name, but I haven't asked if it is ok, so I am going to leave that private for the time being. I will keep you all posted on her diagnosis if you would like. Thanks so much. Blessings.. Stacey