The post that needs no name.

Disclaimer: I am not to be held responsible for any vomiting or laughing so hard you pee yourself. That, I would solely blame on my two oldest daughters.

Picture this:
Dinner. Old Spaghetti Factory. Moms (Grandma Cindy's) birthday. Nice family night out.

"Hey Momma, I need to go potty." says Maddy. "Alrighty, Alex do you need to go to?" I reply. "Yeah, I do." Alex says. So off the 3 off us go to the teeniest of bathrooms for a mega restaurant. There is a line. And prom dresses. Lots & lots of prom dresses. (um, yeah those "prom" dresses? Lets just say they looked more appropriate for 27 year olds. NOT for 16 year olds.) Anyways, I digress. We get to the front of the long prom dress laden line, and all 3 of us go into the handicapped accessible stall. Alex says, "I need to go first!" Now remember it was Maddy who asked to the restroom initially. Maddy, "NO, I NEED TO GO 1ST!" "NO I DO!" This goes back & forth for, hmm, 30 seconds or so before I have enough and tell Maddy to let Alex go first. So when I turn around to get a toilet set cover off the wall, Maddy grabs her opportunity at retaliation and SHOVES Alex. I turn around, and in almost a slow motion type Matrix-y move Alex faaaaaalllls iiiinnntooooo thhheee toilet. Face first. Shoulder deep. Ack. Alex scrambles literally out of the toilet and holds out her wet arms, and starts to SCREAM at the top of her lungs. And she screams, and screams. And Maddy laughs & LAUGHS. And well, I kinda maybe might have laughed a little bit. Maybe. Then I decide enough I enough and I go to the bathroom first. Then Alex, who is still freaking out on me, demands I use toilet paper to dry off her arms of toilet water, she goes next. Then Maddy, who by this time is laughing so hard I thought she would wet herself before she could get onto the seat. She made it just in time. Whew. That was a close one. We finish up in the stall, walk out into the teensy tiny area to wash our hands and ooops, Alex trips and falls into a girl. In a stripper, ahem, I mean prom dress. And catches her self with the toilet arms. Shoot. I really hope she wasn't standing there listening to the whole bathroom shenanigans. I take Miss Alex and the still giggling Maddy to the sink where we "wash" our hands/arms. And by "wash" I mean scrub them so darn hard that Alex tells me, "Mommy! You are HURTING my arms!" Ok. They must be clean then right? I sure hope so, because I RAN out the dumb door.

And the good part about the dinner? My brotha man Austin's ex-girlfriend Crazy Crystal, works at the Old Spaghetti Factory, and she totally comped our meal. (My fam of 5's meal that is) NICE! I mean, that's $40 that didn't have to get paid. Sweet.